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Turning Mean Girl Comments into Meaningful Connections

women whispering, friendship, community

In middle school we read the classic, Anne of Green Gables. The quirky read-head who captures our hearts! In the book Anne asks her best friend, Diana if she would be her bosom friend. The bosom is the heart, where we keep our most secret thoughts and feelings. So, calling someone your bosom friend meant they were a friend you trusted to know all of you. This was the sort of charm that at age twelve I knew I wanted friends I could share the most in-depth parts of me with and I wanted to be that trusted friend for others.

But, having a trusted bosom friend didn’t come without its complications. All through school (and beyond), I met girls who were just plain mean. They said petty things because they were jealous or intentionally wanted me to feel “less than.” I often struggled with women who disingenuously promised we would get together but never contacted me, ignored my invitations, and always excluded me from their group. Friendship is tricky, people!

It can be tempting to look at all the negative things women have done to us and hide in our books; never attempting to find bosom friends of our own. But we can choose another way!

We can reverse those negative moments and turn them into positives.

+ For all the moments you didn’t belong, make sure you invite that girl sitting by herself.

+ For all the times someone said something mean about the way you look, say five kind things to someone else.

+ For all the evenings you sat at home feeling left out, make plans for a girl’s night.

+ For all the lonely days you wish you had someone to talk to, create trust and invite deep conversation with your roommate.

+ For all the seasons that you have struggled to find healthy community, remember that God has women out there in your local community who are genuine, friendly and kind-hearted.

To ward off the mean girl moments, practice being the friend you wish you had! …and maybe one day you’ll feel confident enough to ask someone to be your bosom friend.

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1 Comment

  • Reply Kate Taylor

    This is fabulous!!!! Yes, we need to stop the “mean girl” culture and you are def doing your part.

    Monday, April 1, 2019 at 3:50pm
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