“Let’s grab coffee?” you ask.

“I’m more of a tea girl, but absolutely,” I respond.

Coffee dates are a tale as old as friendship time. They’re perfect for their casual, treat-inspired friend time. Yet, there is something more going on when we sit down to talk with someone over a warm cup of coffee.

The University of Colorado did an experiment where they had participants meet new people while holding warm drinks versus cold drinks. They found that when one holds something warm in their hands, they will have a warmer outlook on the person they are meeting. They see the other person as more generous, warm and ultimately trust-worthy.

Another study, claims it all traces back to the womb days. Humans have always felt comfortable and safe in warm environments. Or think back to your childhood and a warm embrace from a trusted adult was the safest place for you to be. Our brains have made a connection that physical warmth translates to interpersonal warmth.

So next time you invite someone new to meet, ask them to coffee. Though it may seem “tired,” coffee dates are still just as fruitful of a friend date experience as any other. Or take warm drinks to go as you walk around your neighborhood. Give yourself an advantage of having a more open, safe and vulnerable conversation.

Big Takeaways:

  1. When you are holding a warm drink, you are more likely to trust and be more open with someone new
  2. If someone is meeting you for the first time holding a warm drink, they will subconsciously find you to be more generous and sincere.

If you are looking for another fun coffee date idea, you can read all about the friend date: Coffee Shop Crawl in my book Together is a Beautiful Place. You can grab a copy anywhere books are sold or learn more about the book here.