Life too chaotic for friends? Try these 3 ideas to connect

Our family loves to overcommit and create our own chaos. This last week we packed up our house for moving in three days, hosted a weekend BBQ, led our weekly small group in our box-filled home, worked jobs, had full days with our kids, went to baby appointment, etc. You get the idea…we are doing a lot.

But you know me, despite the chaotic season I always want to make time for friends. Prioritizing our people is IMPORTANT.

So, I wanted to share three ideas with you to fight for community amidst a chaotic season of life.

Make the 10min phone calls

The University of Texas did a study in the fall of 2020 and found that people who made frequent ten-minute phone calls significantly decreased their loneliness. Those in the study reported being 20% less lonely over a month of making regular calls. This is HUGE!

I was so intimidated by phone calls but the pandemic changed that for me. Now my Facetime calls or Marco Polo messages are mini lifelines to my day. I can call while I am on a walk to the park with the kids, in the car, getting ready in the morning…you get the idea; we have ten minutes each day to call someone and chat. Despite the chaos around our schedules we can pick up our phone and give someone a quick call.

This same study also noted that we create more connectedness when we use voice-based media channels versus text-based media channels. We have grown so accustomed to texting because we think phone calls are awkward, but I think we all owe it to ourselves to achieve the connection we crave and make the phone call!

Find time for safe friends

What I mean by a “safe friend” is someone who you are extremely comfortable around. This may be someone who has known you for years, or they are innately good listners and encouragers. Don’t be afraid to say, “life is crazy and I just want to spend time with a friend who doesn’t make me explain everything. You accept me the way I am.” Making time for these types of friends can be the rest and recharge you need to enter back into your crazy season.

Give yourself a day off/night off to do things you love with the people you love

This last Sunday, we hosted an Easter BBQ and I put away the stress of moving, the mess of my house and the weight of hosting a party with two small kids while four months pregnant so that I could fully be present with my friends. Every one of us needs time away from the chaos—not just lounging on the couch with television—but spending quality time with others.

This is your permission to let go of your stress and treat yourself to friend time—it matters more than you think. In 2019, the Mayo Clinic released information about the benefits of spending time with friends. Amongst that list they mention time with friends will: “boost your happiness and reduce stress; help you cope with traumas; reduce depression, heart problems and a high blood pressure.” These all seem like good enough reasons for me to get myself to a girl’s night.

No matter what is going on in your life right now, my hope is you will find time slots in your calendar and commit to spending it with friends. Don’t let chaotic seasons keep you from doing things you love with the people you love.